While seeing many people’s messages or calls, your face may light up. Still, when you get a text from a different number that looks like your ex-partner a Narcissist texting from different numbers may make you feel unsettled tired, and, most importantly, scared shit with all the trauma that you have been trying to get out of from many years resurfacing in your mind. Nowadays, there are many methods available online on how to text from a different number.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Often, the text would begin with an innocuous little What are you doing Friday night, and then after a few seconds, the message would come I will be at (add some fancy restaurant name) on Friday night. Then, if you continue ignoring their statements a few times, they will start becoming creepier. For example, I know you love to eat Chinese, or I know your favourite hangout place. Even further down the line, you will start getting messages like Reply, or I would publicize your high school pics and then end this message with just kidding.
According to Dr. Kennedy, Ph. D., the director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery says that “a narcissist’s messages can be very harmful to someone on the other end.”
These messages or calls can be for blaming the other person, blaming the other person for conflict, or dismissing their feelings or experiences.
Dr Kennedy also says these texts and calls can leave a victim feeling invalidated, upset, or traumatized. However, if a person knows how to respond to a narcissist’s call or message, then that can help people a lot, even with the Narcissist texting from different numbers.
What is a Narcissist?
This term has been much overused in social media and online platforms; however, psychologists say that if a person is overly focused on themselves while disregarding the feelings of anyone that they come across and has an inflated sense of self, is a narcissist, or is narcissistic.
According to Dr Kelsey M. Latimer, “Narcissists tend to be overly centred on their needs, thoughts, and feelings. At the same time, they may disregard other people’s feelings in the process.”
Dr Latimer also mentions that everyone acts selfishly or centres themselves at times -heck, that can even be a good thing in some situations. That does not mean everyone meets the criteria for a clinical disorder. The disorder is such that the person acts in an extreme to the extent that it negatively impacts relationships and their lives.”
Read about What happens when you give a Narcissist the silent treatment?
What might a narcissist’s text look like?
One should learn how to spot a narcissist’s text, and then only can they know how to respond to it.
Narcissistic Haiku a three-part structure
According to Dr Ramani, “Narcissist’s toxic text messages have a three-part structure. These messages are a sandwich. They start with a reason to reach out, then it has some meaning or manipulative statement, and then the last part has an idea that makes them look good or virtuous.
The opening part of such messages is often quite declarative or informative or asking for information, so you read that. Then the next part is passive or overtly aggressive to get you unsettled reading it, and then it has a closure that can be even more confusing, wishing you a happy birthday or having fun or whatever. You will find yourself reading these toxic messages repeatedly, and some people get stuck in the middle of these messages where there is the veiled threat, the passive-aggressive slap, or the victimized yammering,”
Dr Ramani says a narcissist text message is “a tidy little gaslight sent by a text message.”
How to spot a narcissist through texting?
There are many ways in which you can narrow down that the person who is texting is a narcissist
-They will lack empathy in their messages
-They will have a sense of entitlement
-They will steer all the conversation towards “I, I, I.”
-They will invalidate others’ feelings even through text messages
-They will brag about their importance and their achievements.
Learn more about Narcissist’s social media stalking
Narcissist texting habits
Now you must be thinking why they are texting from a different number. The reason for this is that the text can be interpreted in many ways, as you cannot judge the message through the tone or body language. Hence, its intent remains vague, which a narcissist can easily manipulate. Another reason can be that you may get confused that it is from someone you have gone on a date with or are dating and reveal some information to them that they can use in some way to manipulate you.
The types of the Narcissist’s text are as follows.
Love bombing texts
A narcissist will bombard you with tons of text messages from different numbers. Before you can understand what is going on, you may receive so many notifications in quick succession that you will even doubt if they are using a different number texting app. If you get “I can’t live without you, or I love you more than life” kind of messages. “We belong to each other” or “You’re my soulmate” kind of messages from some unknown number every two minutes. It’s most probably your narc ex texting you from different numbers. Why are they doing this, then you may ask. The simple reason for this is they are looking for your attention, and they want you so distracted that you cannot focus on anything other than them. They are craving their narcissist supply, and they don’t care if you are free in an important meeting or are having some family time. All they care about is their needs.
Guilt texts
Narcissists usually trick others through fear or guilt trips. They try to play on other people’s kindness, compassion, and empathy. Hey, try to make you feel sorry for them. They know you won’t hurt anyone or let anyone down consciously. This way, they can send some very carefully crafted emotional texts from pretending to be someone in need by texting from a different number. They may be able to get a response from you.
Strange Ambiguous texts
Narcissists like to create chaos; actually, they thrive on stirring the pot. So they text with different numbers multiple times a day and send strange websites, links, and weird pictures to get some rise out of you, only to message later to apologize that it was meant for someone else, knowing by now you have figured out who was texting you anonymously. A tactic meant to unsettle and baffle you.
For example, if you hate violent scenes, they would deliberately send you some overly brutal movie clips or pictures to aggravate you. Sometimes, they would send random emojis, leaving you wondering what they mean or what they are trying to say.
Going hot and cold through texts
They may even reach out to you through some common acquaintance that they know you are friends with. They may utilize their mobile for their text games.
There may come a time when your narc may abruptly cease texting you, and weeks might go by before you again start getting texts from the narcissists. This is a cruel game they play to see if you would take the hook at their beck and call. It is simply a way to get a rise out of you.
Rage text messages
Suddenly, you would start getting covert narcissist text messages blaming you for everything going wrong in your life. They would be angry, vengeful, and sometimes desperate text messages, leaving you perplexed as to who is spewing nonsense that is too using text a number of times from a different number. They could be downright nasty messages wishing the worst for you, sometimes in all caps on.
Why do narcissists text from different numbers?
- They are low on supply and want to play with you again
- They want to trigger a hoover from you to reel you back into their trap.
- To control and intimidate their ex
- Don’t want to be held accountable in case you take action against the unknown caller.
- To break the spirits of their ex-partners
- For revenge for breaking off with them
- To ruin your peace and draw supply from your misery by hiding behind the mask of anonymity
- They like to push boundaries- they are checking where you are emotionally right now through their text messages.
How to deal with Narcissist texting from different numbers
The only reason that a narcissist would text from different numbers is because there must be something they want to gain from you. They don’t care about anyone or anything else, only self-gratification. Their fragile ego needs constant feeding in the form of supply.
Dr. Ramani says, “There is no way you can respond to such messages if you are brief in your responses to them, then they will bait you. If you try to engage now, you are down the rabbit hole; if you don’t reply, well, that may be the best path of all because there is really nothing that can be said to confusing messages like this.”
Ways to safeguard yourself against narcissist texting from different numbers
The most important thing while trying to avoid getting trapped by a narc partner is to follow the no-contact policy strictly with the Narcissist. I know this is better said than done, but believe me, by trying, you can achieve this state of mind where you are indifferent to them. However, if you happen to run into them in person, you may not be indifferent anymore. Rather, they will leave you feeling anxious or uncomfortable; however, texting is something different. You can learn to be indifferent to their text messages by practice.
1. Don’t waste your time and energy on them
They are an ex for a reason. Just remember to try not to focus on the narcissist texting games.
2. Trust few
Rely and confide only in a handful of your trusted friends and family.Not everyone will be your friend, and there are only a few that matter to you and have unconditional trust in you, like your parents or maybe an older sibling.
3. Avoid Drama
Avoid getting drawn into unnecessary chaos and conflicts with the narc. They actually thrive in it while the victims get the harsh end of it while they love it
4. Have faith in yourself
Understand that their cruelty and underhanded behaviour are not a reflection of your worth.
5. No contact policy
It means simply a total cessation of all contact with the Narcissist. Remember, no always means no.
-No replying to random suspicious texts
-No social media following or peeking
-No common friends acting as flying monkeys
6. Blocking apps
Many apps in the market help you block down numbers. They may even let you check out under whose name the number is registered. Example Truecaller
7. Report them to authorities
If they breach your privacy by trying to hack your email accounts or phones, report them to the police.
Sometimes, narcissists can come physically to your doorstep. Do not take their bait and ruin the months of progress that you made. They will never change.
8. If nothing works, try changing your number.
It will provide a sense of control over your life and your communications. This will allow you to engage with the people you want to text and call.
Final thoughts: Narcissist texting from different numbers
You didn’t take their shitty behaviour and stood up to them. You didn’t let them abuse you. The narcissist injury is at play here. Narcissists texting patterns will make you feel confused and something off about their text messages. Get yourself educated about the red flags for texting. Remember, a lack of response is more powerful than continuing to engage in their games.
Some common FAQS on Narcissist texting from different numbers
Why does a narcissist text you out of the blue?
They are testing the waters and waiting for a response to make you their supply again. It is a calculated move to make you hoover. They are either bored or want something from you.
What are the texting habits of narcissists?
Narcissists are master manipulators. They will use gaslighting to get you to give them attention by sending messages that will confuse you or guilt you into thinking that you are the responsible one for things not working out.
What texts do narcissists like to get?
Any texts that make them feel admired and important are the types of messages that a narcissist likes. For example, was it you who was the light of my life, or I’m nothing without you, or you are my hero? These are flattering text messages.
What confuses a narcissist?
One of the easiest ways to unsettle a narc immediately is not to make eye contact. When you do not look at them, you are stripping them of their basic need to be in the spotlight and get attention.
Why do narcissists send long texts?
They are no different than a three-year-old. All they want is your attention with their pointless, long messages. All they want is to get attention from you. It kicks them to know they made you read their long text messages.
Do narcissists send mixed messages?
A narcissist loves to go hot and cold in the same message, like they would first give an informational statement, then blame you, and then bless you in the same text message to confuse you with their passive, overtly aggressive text message.
Healthoplane is devoted to empowering our readers with science-based mental health information. We use high-quality psychologists’ stated facts and always strive to provide expert opinions on the topic.
Sources
Dr Vanessaa Kennedy, Ph. the director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery
Dr. Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D. CED BSN of KML Psychological Services
Dr Ramani”s video on Toxic text messages
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Dr Amit Sharma is a Doctor and writer with a particular interest in mental health. He helps individuals by combining practical advice with emotional support.