Narcissists are everywhere so are their flying monkeys. So why do narcissists’ flying monkeys exist? They can be anywhere, in our workplaces, in our homes, or in our family circles. It’s hard to escape someone so supportive of self-absorbed and manipulative narcissists. A narcissist will do whatever they can to get what they want and they’ll use you or their flying monkeys or whoever they can in the process.
Read on to find out about the “flying monkey” meaning and Why do narcissists’ flying monkeys exist?
Table of Contents
What is a Flying monkey?
Flying monkeys are individuals who are accustomed to doing what a narcissist wants. A flying monkey is somebody who works to fulfill the dirty schemes of a narc. They will do anything their victimizer needs neglecting sentiments or feelings. They will quite often be exceptionally good at being manipulative and secretive from others to remain on their oppressive narcissist’s good side.
The Reason Behind The Flying Monkey Term
Flying monkey term developed due to the famous novel under the title of “Wizard of Oz”. In the story, the “wicked witch” had an army of evil “flying monkeys” ready to serve and carry out the vile plans of the wicked witch to remain in her good graces.
Here also flying monkeys in narcissism are the people who support the negative and toxic self-centered behavior of the narcissists.
Why do narcissists’ flying monkeys exist?
The narcissist always surrounds themselves with flying monkeys who gossip, gaslight, and spread ‘smear campaigns’ to keep their narcissists happy by siding with them and sometimes even enjoying the chaos and havoc they spread.
Flying monkeys are flying monkeys because narcissist allows them to hang around the so-called “cool group”, and be more charismatic and popular with them. Flying monkeys can be anyone from your family circle to narcissists. It can be your siblings, cousins, aunts uncles, children, or close friends to your colleagues and coworkers.
Types Of Flying Monkeys
The willing schemer kind
The mislead fools kind
Flying Monkey Narcissism
In short flying monkeys’ psychology is that they can’t be confident and attractive on their own. Thus need support from a charming narcissist to follow and be their guide. If you notice that someone is always carrying out the narcissist’s plans, you might want to start keeping your distance.
Are You Being Used By A Narcissist?
To avoid being a victim of narcissistic abuse, it’s important to take steps before it gets too late.
Research says it can be difficult sometimes to know if you’re being used by a narcissistic individual, here are some things to look out for:
· They make every little thing about them
· They cause you to feel like you’re the insane one.
· They constantly belittle or insult others
· They try and make themselves seem like a martyr.
Why do Narcissists want to recruit you as their flying monkey or why do narcissists’ flying monkeys exist?
· The reason narcissists try and make you a flying monkey is that they want someone to do their dirty work for them.
· They want someone to be their puppet and do whatever they say, which makes them feel powerful and important.
Flying monkeys usually have a sense of entitlement because the narcissist has made them feel like they deserve everything, no matter what. This is another reason why do narcissists’ flying monkeys exist?
In practice, this means that the narcissist will use you for your time, skills, or knowledge. It can be hard to recognize when a narcissist is trying to manipulate you into being a flying monkey but here are some signs:
- They keep asking for favors
- They see nothing wrong with manipulating others.
- They have difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
What Does The Flying Monkey Do?
Narcissists do not care about anyone but themselves and they don’t feel empathy for any of their victims. They will use anything to get what they want and then discard it like a piece of trash. As such, it is important that if you’ve been a flying monkey for a narcissist, you stop immediately.
The first thing you need to do when dealing with a narcissist is honest with yourself. You can’t expect yourself to change them so it’s important to find your worth within yourself.
If you’re a flying monkey for a narcissist, it’s time for you to step down from being an assistant and focus on being your person. It’s time to take the power back from the narcissist by refusing to be manipulated or abused by them anymore.
How To Protect Yourself From Flying Monkeys?
1. Be cautious about the people you open up to
If you have escaped a narcissist’s trap then try not to be in contact with anyone who will relay all your personal information to the narcissist. Don’t accept friend requests of people associated with narcissists even on your social media handles.
2. Don’t say anything negative about the narcissist
I know this may sound odd to you but let me explain. If a slander campaign was launched against you by the narcissist and his/her flying monkeys pointing you as the abusive in the relationship then all you need to do is neither retaliate nor defend yourself. Simply conduct yourself in such a manner that everyone gets the message that you want only the best for your narcissistic ex. You only want his/her happiness and well-being. This will do two things
Confuse the flying monkeys
Doubt will be created in the flying monkey’s mind that whether they are following the right person.
3. Trust your feelings
Sometimes the flying monkeys may approach you to inform or convince you that they know what’s best for you when in reality it will be in the best interests of the narcissists. This happens when the narcissist enablers flying monkeys are people close to you or move in the same circles as you. For such a situation the best course of action is to not get manipulated by their explanations and sob stories and feel guilty for the things that you are not even responsible for.
Instead, simply choose to remain silent till they have their say, let them speak their minds. Don’t justify yourself after their rant gets over just point out the simple fact that they only know the narcissist’s side of the story, not yours. Thus their opinions don’t matter to you as they are flawed and biased.
How To Manage The Narcissistic Flying Monkeys?
- Don’t let anyone alter your reality
Acknowledge your feelings and emotions. Trust your instinct and don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel or if you have the right to feel that way.
- Surround yourself with positive people
These are the people with whom you can share anything without them judging you or doubting your intentions.
- Don’t make excuses for narcissists to yourself
Narcissists are the people that can attract anyone effortlessly. This is the reason they always have their own set of followers. It becomes very important that you be cautious of their ways and set a distinct boundary with them.
- Avoid narcissists at every cost
It’s of no use to try to reason with narcissists or their flying monkeys. It is easier said than done because when you are dealing with such people in your workplace or at home it becomes damn difficult to do this. But try for your sanity to not give too much importance or engage in discussions with them.
- Get therapy
If you have been dealing with narcissists or their enablers(flying monkeys) for a long time. You should consider getting professional help. They will give you the best advice and their unbiased views.
How To Respond To A Flying Monkey Sent By A Narcissist?
When you know your narcissistic abuser will be using flying monkeys to do their dirty work, it can be hard to know how to respond to a flying monkey sent by a narcissist.
First, don’t take the bait. If they try and get you mad or try and get a response out of you that they want, resist the urge to play into their game. Keeping your cool will show that you will not play their verbal games.
Second, document everything that happens during this interaction with your abuser’s Flying Monkey. Write down what was said, when it happened, where it happened, and who was involved in the conversation. This will help make sure your evidence is still fresh in case someone tries to deny what was said later on.
The final thought about why narcissists flying monkeys exist? is that don’t give up and stop thinking about why narcissists flying monkeys exist? Some people are not worth wasting your time and energy on. It’s a waste of effort. Flying monkeys are usually an extension of narcissists and they will believe what they want to. It may take time but eventually, narcissists will start to lose their interest in you and then slowly call their flying monkeys off you.
Read more about What happens when you give a narcissist the silent treatment?
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Dr Amit Sharma is a Doctor and writer with a particular interest in mental health. He helps individuals by combining practical advice with emotional support.