Now that I reflect on my relationship with my partner only thought going through my head is why are narcissists so cruel after discarding? Female narcissists are so cruel. She would act like a martyr loving and caring to other people friends and strangers randoms. But she always tried to provoke and belittle me when we were alone. Whenever I would try to establish a boundary she would break it only to establish another one that completely negates the earlier one.
People with narcissistic personality disorder do not try to be cruel but still are so negative to the people around them that they appear as someone very cruel. The reason for this is:
- Limited empathy
- Prioritizing their own needs above everyone
So what a narcissist projects to the world an example:
She played mind games, and the cruelty of the narcissistic partner was evident when she claimed, “he is insane.” In truth, she toyed with emotions, causing harm to my mental well-being. She made me feel constantly inadequate, using gaslighting techniques. Now that I have valid reasons to be upset and hurt, the narcissist attempts to portray me as a villain, in hopes of deterring friends and family members from bonding with me.
Narcissists are people who are extremely self-absorbed and usually lack empathy. The close relationship between narcissism and cruelty will be examined in this article, specifically addressing the question of why individuals with narcissistic tendencies often display cruel behavior.
Table of Contents
What is a narcissist?
Before we learn more about why are narcissists so cruel after discarding, let’s understand who are narcissists. Narcissists are people who are deeply preoccupied with themselves. They are deeply involved with their sense of self. They only feel admiration and zero empathy for others and sometimes they feel like pure evil. This self-centeredness can manifest in many ways.
Types of narcissists
- Grandiose Narcissists
- Vulnerable Narcissists
- Malignant Narcissism
Each of them is cruel in their different ways, but at the core, they exhibit traits of self-admiration and grandiosity.
What are the reasons for the cruelty of narcissists?
Cruelty as a narcissistic trait
Narcissists particularly female narcissists so cruel they may engage such as and cruel behaviors such as manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse to assert dominance and control over others
The cruelty of narcissists makes one question do narcissists have a conscience?
Image Conscious
Narcissists have to project a certain image about themselves to the world. It has to be an image of superiority, grandiosity, and achievement to not feel insecure and shameful about their real self.
Narcissists fear abandonment
They feel the need for attention and want to be admired by others. The feeling of abandonment may kick in if they don’t get the required admiration from others. This may make them use cruelty to achieve the desired reactions.
Jealousy
The narcissist wants to make others envy them, not the other way around. They want to be the center of attention. They use cruel ways for this. They may make certain circumstances where their partner, colleague, or family member gets in trouble, and then they will swoop in to solve the problem.
Thus, they satisfy their huge ego by becoming a hero or a perfect person in the eyes of the world.
Insecurity
Narcissists are very insecure people because of their distorted sense of self. So, sometimes, their insecurity makes them act destructively.
Factors contributing to why are narcissists so cruel after discarding
Here we will discuss all the factors associated with and learn why are narcissists so mean and vengeful.
- Lack of Empathy
Narcissists аrе people who struggle to understand or care about the feelings & experiences of those around them which makes their actions callous and hurtful
- Insecurity & vulnerability
This cruelty is often a defense mechanism so deep-seated insecurities and vulnerabilities. They put others down to feel good and confident thus soothing their fragile self-esteem
- Need for control
Narcissists want to control the world. Narcissists view relationships as a power & may resort to cruelty to be dominant in a relationship. Therefore inflicting emotional pain can be a way to fulfill their insatiable need for control.
- Impact of narcissistic cruelty
Narcissistic cruelty leaves such long-lasting scars on the victim that the victim often suffers from emotional trauma and anxiety. and depression. This can make them feel isolated and traumatized.
Recognizing narcissistic behavior
To get help and survive one must be should be able to identify a narcissist. Look for signs of pure evil like
-Extreme self-centredness.
-manipulation.
-lack of genuine empathy
Coping strategies
Dealing with a narcissistic can be emotionally challenging and draining but some coping strategies can help protect mental and emotional well-being.
- Set boundaries
Establish clear and firm boundaries for yourself and know what things you will not tolerate, make these boundaries known to the narc in a calm but assertive manner.
- Maintain self-esteem
Narc often undermines the self-esteem of those around them therefore it is of utmost importance to remind yourself of your worth and your strengths.
- Avoid emotional reactivity
Narcissists often thrive on the emotional responses of others. Try to be calm and composed while dealing with their provocations. Respond with empathy without letting their behavior affect your emotions.
- Limit contact
If feasible, try to minimize your contact with a disturbingly self-absorbed individual as much as you can. Your well-being and the things that bring you happiness and satisfaction should always come first.
- Seek support
Reach out for assistance by confiding in a close friend, family member, or therapist who can offer you valuable advice and the necessary support. Talking about feelings helps you gain perspective.
- Use the grey rock method
In this technique, you become emotionally uninteresting and not reacting to their attempts to provoke you. It can help reduce the likelihood of becoming a target.
Read more about what do narcissists do when you ignore them.
- Document behaviour
Recording narcissistic behavior, particularly in cases where the relationship is abusive or manipulative, may help you if you need legal support.
Conclusions about the article why are narcissists so cruel after discarding
The reason why are Narcissists so cruel involves a complex interplay of factors that revolve around a lack of empathy, deep-rooted insecurities, and an uncontrollable need to control. Educating yourself about these is very important for protection against narcissistic cruelty and seeking help when needed.
Common Faqs on why are narcissists so cruel after discarding
1. Can Narcissists change their behavior? Is narcissism good or bad?
No, a Narcissist will never change their behavior because that requires a willingness to acknowledge that their actions and behavior were wrong.
2. What is the difference between Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder?
People with Narcissism can be found on the spectrum, whereas NPD is a mental health disorder that is diagnosed and is marked by extensive narcissistic traits that greatly hinder day-to-day activities.
3. Can a Narcissist and a normal person have a healthy relationship?
First of all, understand how bad is narcissism in the person concerned. Then know this It is highly unlikely for a healthy relationship to exist with a Narcissist; the only advice would be to distance yourself as quickly as possible.
4. What are some red flags of narcissistic cruelty in a relationship?
Red flags can be constant criticism, gaslighting, lack of emotional support, and constant undermining of others’ self-esteem.
5. Is it true that narcissists are insane?
Indeed, pathological narcissism is a psychological condition linked to sociopathy. The intention behind it is to manipulate the victim into doubting their sanity, causing them to ponder on what actions they might have taken to provoke such intense harm. However, this inquiry remains unanswered as there is no rational explanation for it. Consequently, we find ourselves attempting to comprehend irrational behavior, which is futile. Therefore, it is better to accept that their irrational actions were not in any manner caused by your actions and find solace in that realization.
6. What can I do to help someone who is suffering from narcissistic abuse?
Only by listening to them, you can help validate their feelings and emotions. Also, encourage them to seek help if necessary. Advise them to avoid confronting the narcissist head-on, as it may intensify the conflict.
Remember dealing with a Narcissist is very challenging due to the level of toxicity in the relationship and whether is it worth it to maintain such a relationship. Sometimes all you need is to distance yourself and seek professional guidance to protect your physical emotional and mental well-being.
Disclaimer
The content of this article “Why are narcissists so cruel after discarding” has been developed by third-party medical content writers and/or experts. The information mentioned in the article is only for educational purposes and therefore it is requested to consult a doctor/ physician before diagnosing and deciding the treatment plan.
Healthoplane, its Licensors nor any third-party content providers do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any content. Furthermore, neither Healthoplane nor its Licensors endorse or are responsible for the accuracy and reliability of any opinion, advice, or statement made on this article or any of the Sites or Services. We take no responsibility for your exposure to third-party content on the Sites or the Services. Healthoplane and its Licensors do not assume, and expressly disclaim, any obligation to obtain and include any information other than that provided to it by its third-party sources. It should be understood that we do not advocate the use of any product or procedure described in the Sites or through the Services, nor are we responsible for misuse of a product or procedure due to typographical error.
Consent
By using our website, you hereby consent to our disclaimer and agree to its terms.
Dr Amit Sharma is a Doctor and writer with a particular interest in mental health. He helps individuals by combining practical advice with emotional support.